I have been pretty pensive lately.
I don't have any internet at the new house, but yes, the move did go fine, thank you... If you were wondering at all, that is. I'm at my mother's right now. The bodybuilder is in Virginia. He's supposed to come back tomorrow morning while I'm at work (I work at the mall now, weehee, no more bagel shop for me...) but I doubt it. After all, both of our states is swathed in snow at the moment. I hear the roads are perilous. It is the first white Christmas Winston-Salem has had in 41 years. That's really reflective of my life for awhile now. Things have happened to me that I haven't and probably won't understand for awhile (rare strange perilous things, like snow), because I didn't know such things existed. Like how people can be so snarky and mean; I won my case in court, in which my former landlord said he just wanted to ensure I was leaving by using court as a threat. He says he takes EVERY tenant whose lease he terminates to court... Expensive, I think. The office manager promised me my deposit back, but Wednesday I recieved a letter saying I wasn't getting it back, and I owe them over $370 for "damages" to the apartment--damages they refuse to let my deposit take care of. Not only are they refusing to give back my deposit, but they have the gall to demand more money. How interesting. I barely have it in me to fight against them anymore, because if I refuse to pay them then they will get creditors after me. At my age I really can't afford to sully my delicate (and few) lines of credit that I have. ...How annoying.
It's Christmas and despite the snow and my fabulous presents, it passed with a whimper. I consider it over, which makes me bummed. But we celebrated it yesterday because Mom worked today, and I ate tons of ham just now. And banana split ice cream. I worked an overnight shift yesterday, then opened presents right after. I don't think I've fully recovered; right now I am an odd mix of content and exhausted. I will be attending Forsyth Tech on January 10th. Finally getting a real start on the future that I want more than anything. I feel like I'm wasting time, like I'm old, like I am going to die young and my age is just a ticking time bomb, set to merely implode within me and render me to ash, and dust. It's a strange feeling. I turn 20 next Sunday, eight days I suppose, and I watch the date approach with bitterness. I'd like to get roaring drunk, after eating a wonderful meal, and hopefully unwrapping the present that I've asked for the past two birthdays that no one will get me---a cream colored, silky, sexy kimono robe. Short (mid thigh, over my ass definitely) with big sleeves. Please? Why won't anyone get me one? It's $20 at Target. I don't get it.
I've been training at the gym tons. I got a particularly gross cold a few days ago so I've turned my back on it for about a week (feeling too drained and plehgmy), but most weeks I go for an hour and a half on five or six days out of the week. Splendid really. I'm trying to get in wonderful shape so that I can train MMA at a 24/7 gym near my house. I'm training at another gym right now to turn into this hardbody I envision myself as in the future, so that when I do go for my MMA classes, no one there will know how awkward and silly looking I was when I started toying with the idea.
The future does look nice for me, I must say. I just want to sleep. I wish this whole business with my (former) landlord would just fizzle away, so that I can forget I ever lived in stupid Greenville, and it can all be a distant memory. That'd just make everything a little sweeter...
