I've figured out my future for the most part and it is entirely and enchantingly feasible... I don't know who knows this and who doesn't, but I am from Winston Salem, which is better than Greenville. Winston kicks Greenville's ass. Where Greenville has rowdy kids, vomit spattered sidewalks, and countless Mickey D's, Winston has historic buildings, green expanses of lawn, and kids riding their bikes. I can't say that Greenville is all bad, or Winston is all good, but the bad side of Winston looks how the majority of Greenville actually looks. I got to visit Winston Salem this weekend, and it was amazing. My mom took us shopping, she got the bodybuilder this great thrifted leather coat (new it would've been over $200!) and a comforter for our bed, it is so gorgeous and plush with braided trim. AND she washed it with fabric softener... I don't use fabric softener, because I normally have trouble affording detergent, so that's that. It's amazing. I got to go through downtown, and see all the shops and new restaurants, and realized how much I missed the small city. I used to complain a lot when I lived there; mostly because I was silly and immature, and I didn't understand what I had. Also, my mom hated my boyfriend, and so it made the entire atmosphere tense and restless. I daren't say it, but that's the real reason I hated Winston. Now that my mom actually misses me, and bears my bodybuilder no animosity, Winston Salem is a lovely place, and I didn't realize it because I hadn't been there in so long. I told myself, "Greenville isn't so bad, I have a decent apartment, and a steady job..." Silly, because for what I'm paying now, I could have something historic in the Art district of Winston, and the job market is better there anyway. (Luckily, I am one of those people, I can easily find a job while others are complaining that they can't find a single thing.)
Not to mention, currently my mom thinks I am in school. If I lived in Winston and attended Forsyth Tech for awhile with her blessing, there would be no need to lie... And I hate lying. It causes me much distress. I also figured, if I move, I need to find a good university in Winston Salem, and not move again for awhile. Wake Forest is out, simply because I dislike it. WSSU-- hell no, I will never attend a predominantly black college. Which left, in some strange twist of fate, a college I never really considered; Salem. An all female, Moravian college. 5% of their graduates pursue law school. It's a gorgeous campus. I definitely don't need to be concerned with the all girls thing. I hear the financial aid is fabulous (Thanks, Yasmeen.) It's on the right side of Winston. I swear, all this was meant to happen. I was supposed to be a lost soul, only to find myself OUTside of school and to eventually find my way back again to the right one. My mom loves this whole idea of course, and she even supports the Forsyth Tech thing. I'm utterly convinced that this is what I want to do, and I love how easy it is... Now is just a matter of doing it, and of convincing my adorable boyfriend it's worth it.
Looking ahead to the future is making me so happy right now, whether than afraid, or apprehensive. It's a lovely feeling, and I enjoy it. I haven't been truly happy for awhile-it's hard to feel happy in the present when the future so close ahead is uncertain and dark, and everything you've been through in the past looms behind you like some bad omen. I take comfort that things are actually looking up again, and could be (overall) good for a long while.
Smaller, inconsequential updates...
I found two new idols-
Marilyn Monroe
Sir Isaac Newton
I can't seem to get my puppy to stay potty trained.... and the poor little thing came back from my mom's house with fleas :(
Come on Nova, you're nearly six months old, grow up!
SN: I wanna use more pictures/color in this blog, all this black and white text is killing me.
