I am a champ at dating, and you know why? You're probably scoffing at the fact that I just said that, because I have been with the same guy for four years, but our relationship hasn't always been rock solid, and I've managed to let several other guys fall in love with me, though really on accident, just for being myself, and unconsciously using the tips I'm about to give you, because really, these tips are just part of who I am as a person... And I'm really sorry that they work kinda, coz they've hurt a few people in the long run, mostly because even when another guy has fallen for me, there's only been one for me. Even when that one was SO wrong, he was and still is absolutely it. So then I thought, how can I make all this worthwhile? How can all that trouble for all those fellows come to fruition for the people that know me? And this post was born. (Not only that, I have a few tricks up my sleeve that I used when I was single and flirty that normally worked, but hey, who can swear by them, because there's nothing out there that will work on every single person in the universe. Impossible.)
I am a really honest person, ha, isn't that funny? I am really open with everyone I meet, mostly because I'm scared that if I hide something I'll let it slip later and look dumb. Whatever the reason, I try to just be honest from the get go. Honesty is the best policy. Stupid cliches aside... No, really. Cliches are such for a reason, and they all have a grain of truth to them. Maybe even more than a grain. When I thought a guy was good looking, I would tell him so; and of course, when I was single, because this is about how to get a new boyfriend, not how to cheat on the fabulous guy you have now. So don't try to trip me up on technicalities! HA! This is for guys or lesbians or whatever, I don't care, we all deserve someone to love and cuddle and have sex with... Please be honest about your intentions. If you're in love with someone else, and it's clear your friend is wanting more than what you're willing to provide, say so, and pray to God that their infatuation for you doesn't grow, as it did in a situation or two of mine... EXAMPLE; you just met a guy, and you think he's cute so you want to hang out with him. Don't play games. Don't try to get him to make the first move. Tell him you think he's gorgeous and ask him when you're gonna hang out together, period. He will think you're refreshing. And in a way, it is still kinda playing games because it's definitely a tactic, but he will appreciate that he didn't have to do all the work. Plus, lots of guys are shy. And it's not hard to be easygoing about it; just drop a compliment, and then say, "So when are we hanging out?" like you know he already wants to... because don't you know he wants to?
Speaking of shyness.... Being shy sucks. I used to be shy, like to the point of being crippled by it, which actually was a turn on for guys because they liked my vulnerability and innocence and shit. Turns out, I wasn't innocent or vulnerable. Just scared shitless. It's not hard to push shyness out of your system. It takes a lot of awkwardness, and maybe even rejection and plenty of stupid moments where you look like a stuttering, bumbling idiot, but once it's gone you won't miss any more opportunities because of your shyness. I ruined my entire high school "career" because I was shy, and so people wrote me off as unapproachable and stuck up, which wasn't it at all. Once I realized that this part of my personality was taking away some valuable elements from my life, I started putting myself out there. I smiled at strangers. (Baby steps, guys. Baby steps.) I took a job that forced me to speak with over 100 strangers daily and convince them to sell things for the company I worked for. Not only did I have to speak to these strangers, I had to be charming and endearing, and later I had to meet them in person when they came for their job interviews and be gracious about it. Oh dear, what practice. That job killed my shyness in a week or two. You can do it by taking speech classes, or by making as many new friends as you can. You wouldn't believe how many people passed on you because they were intimidated by you... Trust me, they probably told you later. I know they told me.
Be open with your sexuality. No, I mean this. I am a female. I have soft skin and I like to smell pretty and I wear heels sometimes. I adore showing the beginning cleft of my cleavage and I know my lashes are long. If you're a man... guess what, the smell of your sweat turns us (women) on, and I like your hairy knuckles and veiny hands and broad backs. If you're lesbian and you are more masculine, flaunt that shit, because somewhere your next catch is eying you like "Whoooooa, Momma." If you're a feminine homosexual male, wear your scarves and coif your hair perfect and oil your skin because first of all, you're hot, and second of all, I want you to be my best friend. :) Your sexuality can be however you want it to be, and you have to be comfortable with that side of you to be comfortable in your own skin. It's part of the body peace, it's like being comfortable with freckles or cellulite or red hair. If you're not comfortable with the procreating, sexy part of you, how can you expect someone else to be? I'm not saying, hey, go fuck everything and anything that crosses you, you crazy slut, you. I am saying... you are what you are, and someone thinks you're sexy, so go for it. If you think you're sexy, and I stress again, SEXY not SLUTTY, then someone else will too; and sex is a vital part of every healthy relationship.
Lastly (kinda), confidence doesn't mean not nervous, it means knowing what you want and going for it, while being scared out of your pants. At least in most cases. Like, I respect every guy that comes up to me genuinely, not the guys that say "Hey baby, lemme stick my cock in you!" but the guys that summon up their courage and ask me out for real, because that shit is hard. Lots of attractive people are taken (yep, sad truth) so when you ask out somebody on the fly, and you're about to puke and everything, the fact that you did it is so respectable, even if you get rejected. I'm sure you're wondering, Pft, respectable? Who gives a fuck? I just got rejected! Rejections are valuable, because a lot of the time, it's not you, it's that the other person is blind or prejudiced or having a bad day or taken, and it happens. But if you're sitting there thinking, "God, that person is too gorgeous, I can't ask them out, they'll say no" then you'll miss out on the person that says yes to you, every time you don't take the plunge. Plus, it's great practice on killing that shyness.
I said "lastly (kinda)" because I have oodles of dating advice, to be completely honest, and I'm tired of typing and I'm sure by now you're tired of reading. Actually, I'm sure that you've probably been skimming this entire thing anyway, and I appreciate the fact you're on this page at all... But I'm gonna stop here, because I put the key facts out there, and if I get personal requests for more, I can satisfy those however, depending on the volume of requests.
;)
